Separating social media and our worth.

Hello buns

Social media is everywhere. I have been online for quite some time and seen a change in the way that people use it and how they’re appearing online when using it.

The very first social media site I joined was MySpace and my impressionable self was very quickly swept up with internet validation, not that I was aware of it at the time. I was obsessed, trying to gain social status, likes and followers with no reason or thought as to why I was so desperate to be liked and loved. Looking back, I guess I was lonely and desperately trying to build my confidence and self-esteem.

And this is something that I've noticed time after time with myself - when I'm feeling low, lonely and insecure I seek validation from the internet to find my worth. I've never really dug into my reasoning behind my actions for doing this until I saw a post from someone I look up to also questioning their worth as social media is changing.

I have felt frustrated with my Instagram follower count not rising, sad because selfies on Twitter weren't getting so many retweets, lonely because I don't feel like I belong in a specific group or feel like I am liked. I'm more aware than ever that I correlate follower counts to the limit of my "success" in an age where being a social media "influencer" has more power than being an executive or CEO, and I am so often annoyed with myself for getting stuck in a digital rat race.

Our social value does not equal the number of followers we have, how many people like our pictures, our tweets, so why do so many of us chase and yearn for them? This is a question that only you can answer for yourself, you may have to dig deep to find the answers and be prepared not to like what you find.

Do your likes and interests still count if you aren't popular? Do your voice and your opinions matter if you no longer have a platform on which you can perform? Do you feel like your personal worth is tied up with being pretty, popular and likeable?

I have taken small social media breaks and found that sometimes it is more beneficial for my mental health to do so occasionally, especially when I am feeling emotions of insecurities and negativity. I'm not saying that this is the case for everyone, but I have to remove myself before I find myself becoming bitter and spitting poisonous barbs to my appearance when I look in the mirror. When I was younger, my rebellious self didn't give a shit about who liked me and their reasons why, and I'm learning to infuse that spirit and that stubborn attitude back into my life. Chasing after validation online is a tiring and fruitless chase, one in which we are both the hunter and the hunted.

In a complex age where social media runs through our lives regardless of how many sites we are a part of, our sense of self and worth can get incredibly tangled up with this and this can be an intense cat's cradle of feelings. We should be aware of the allure of its power, and our seemingly endless obsession with searching for what our personal happiness looks like through a screen. Many people place filters over their own lives and only show us what is gold, you never see how many plates were dropped backstage.

Always be your weird, authentic self, and remember that you are more than just a 'like.

Photo taken by Gwyd Westwood