Hi buns!
Time to get personal here! Today I'm posting about something that I have always felt, always been aware of and something that I have always struggled with. I wanted to let you in a little bit more and I feel that it's good to be open and honest about these kind of things as you never know who is also feeling the same way. If we can all be open and honest about the way we feel, then it may ease the weight that some people feel on their shoulders.
Happy reading,
Keri AKA Ichigo Bunny
xoxo
PS - Apologies for how messy this is, it kind of came straight from the heart!
PS - Apologies for how messy this is, it kind of came straight from the heart!
I haven't found the place where I belong (and I'm learning that this is fine)
I've always felt like I haven't quite belonged somewhere, and this feeling grew as I went through my teenage years. I thought that by the time I hit my 20's that this would disappear but I'm now in my late 20's and this feeling is, at times, stronger than ever.
I've always felt like I've been on the outside when it comes to groups of friends and that I've never felt like I fully connected with everyone with the group. I've normally only felt comfortable with a few people within the group and that if it wasn't for them, the rest of the gang wouldn't really bother with me. I have one group of friends that I feel connected to, but I have also felt like none of them really miss me when I'm not around.
Maybe this feeling stemmed from never really sticking with one friendship group throughout school. I didn't have one set of friends that I hung out with constantly, I kind of drifted from group to group and stayed friends with everyone from those groups. This is something that I've done since school. I built up friendship groups in different areas, like my gang that I would visit at gigs in Portsmouth and Brighton, I had my group of school friends that I hung around with during my last few years there, and other friends that have been in my life for a long time that I don't often see.
I think another reason for this weird feeling is that I've never settled on one fashion style. I'm constantly experimenting, flitting between styles and drawing inspiration by the things I surround myself with. I've kind of flitted between alternative styles that were popular at the time, to wearing what my friends at gigs were wearing, to styles that I had seen online that inspired me.
I talk to a lot of people who seem to be from from the same community, whether it be the kawaii fashion community, blogging community ect but one thing is always the same - the feeling of not fully fitting in. The only way I can kind of describe it is being on the outside looking in, like I'm stuck in a bubble or mirror of sorts and I cannot fully reach those on the other side of it.
While this odd feeling is something that I did use to really struggle with, I am now more at peace with this feeling. The only time it seems to rear it's head is when I've been online a lot and to combat this feeling I reduce my time I spend scrolling on different social media platforms.
Not feeling like you've found your place, your gang, your pack is okay - and I'm trying to remember that.
I've always felt like I've been on the outside when it comes to groups of friends and that I've never felt like I fully connected with everyone with the group. I've normally only felt comfortable with a few people within the group and that if it wasn't for them, the rest of the gang wouldn't really bother with me. I have one group of friends that I feel connected to, but I have also felt like none of them really miss me when I'm not around.
Maybe this feeling stemmed from never really sticking with one friendship group throughout school. I didn't have one set of friends that I hung out with constantly, I kind of drifted from group to group and stayed friends with everyone from those groups. This is something that I've done since school. I built up friendship groups in different areas, like my gang that I would visit at gigs in Portsmouth and Brighton, I had my group of school friends that I hung around with during my last few years there, and other friends that have been in my life for a long time that I don't often see.
I think another reason for this weird feeling is that I've never settled on one fashion style. I'm constantly experimenting, flitting between styles and drawing inspiration by the things I surround myself with. I've kind of flitted between alternative styles that were popular at the time, to wearing what my friends at gigs were wearing, to styles that I had seen online that inspired me.
I talk to a lot of people who seem to be from from the same community, whether it be the kawaii fashion community, blogging community ect but one thing is always the same - the feeling of not fully fitting in. The only way I can kind of describe it is being on the outside looking in, like I'm stuck in a bubble or mirror of sorts and I cannot fully reach those on the other side of it.
While this odd feeling is something that I did use to really struggle with, I am now more at peace with this feeling. The only time it seems to rear it's head is when I've been online a lot and to combat this feeling I reduce my time I spend scrolling on different social media platforms.
Not feeling like you've found your place, your gang, your pack is okay - and I'm trying to remember that.
You are beautiful. I don't feel like I have ever belonged in a group or found my place but it IS OK. You are meant to be you and those that know you love you for being exactly what you want. Forever a beautiful soul, Edward. Enjoyed looking through your blog this morning. ^__^ x
ReplyDeleteThank you Bella <3 your comment means a lot, I had never realised that you had felt the same. X
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